Tag: text

multipack: if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted

whoreascoped: Reblog this with your penis

japaneseanimes: I tell my girlfriend I am hornet. She thinks it’s typo, but she’ll find out soon enough.

lubricates: lubricates: tampon tampoff

coolyounghip: life hack: don’t join tumblr

suluboo: relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

usaforafrica: straight person: I don’t care if your gay, straight, lesbian or even homosexual. if you’re nice to me I’ll me nice to you (:

698-5519: lol: lots of lesbians rotfl: really open to friendly lesbians lmao: lesbians make awesome omelettes omg: oh my girls ily: i love yuri wtf: where’s the females fyi: females… yes… interesting…

zootedboy: *on my tombstone* ball was life

dioburandou: things tumblr needs to stop doing making minor useless changes things tumblr needs to start doing releasing urls that have been terminated for 2+ years add a “disable reblogging” option for posts make blocking people make it so they can’t view your blog and set it up so i can make it when someone…

kaworu420: i have three moods 420 69 666

evgeniemalkin:

australiansanta: i forgot my earphones more like throw me off a building

greek mythology (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ norse mythology (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ egyptian mythology (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ roman mythology (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ celtic mythology (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ mythology (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

officialwhitegirls: when someone you hate tries to flirt with you

piplump: Pros and cons of boys: Con: They’re dicks Pro: Their dicks

earthdad: i want to pat every lil snail’s head when it is going somewhere. Like it has it’s lil helmet on and is going full speed. Good luck lil buddy on your journey i hope u get there safe

Girl: “Am I pretty?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “Do you want to be with me forever?” Boy:”No.” Girl: “Would you be upset if I walked away?” Boy: “No.” Girl : “Would you cry if I died?” Boy: “No.” She had heard enough and was hurt so she walked away with tears rolling down her face. The…

condorn: tinychatter: condorn: sorry i cant hear you over my freedom(: sorry i cant hear you over my free health care(: if you cant hear guess there’s a problem with that healthcare

pocketsext: cinderella by day sinderella by night 

megay: BDSM: Bondage, Discipline………………..slime man

groudonconfirmed: …………… slime man

pizzoner: I imagine bumping into my internet friends on the street like “sor-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

katkinkat: *forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*

wugs: jake the dog   (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)           and | (• ◡•)|   finn the human

0m: You give me a bonernot a penis bonerbut a boner in my hearta heart on, an affection erection

glittergooch: I hate when black clothes are a slightly different black and don’t match

officialfrenchtoast: when you’re lying and ur bestfriends backs u up

talisman: No sympathy for rapists, no sympathy for abusers, no sympathy for those who side with them. No excuses for their behavior, no justifications, no exceptions.

girl: babe come over boy: I can’t I’m having a threesome with an older couple girl: my parents aren’t home boy: I know

gallifrey-feels: dion-thesocialist: So I’m not very tall (5’ 7”) and sometimes when I see posts where girls are talking shit about short guys and how much they all love tall guys, I feel a twinge of bitterness and think to myself, “I wonder what they’d do if guys all of a sudden started judging them for meaningless…

sadegg: just saying the word tumblr out loud is embarrassing 

saturns-daughter: imgross-ok: aboutwhitewomen: If men aren’t allowed to have an opinion on abortion, then they shouldn’t have to contribute to federal funding of breast cancer research. “if i cant control a woman’s body, then i want that body to die” omg

voldy92: there is nothing rarer and more beautiful than liking every song on an album

punkbread: when all your favorite people are online

fuck: her: right: in the pussy

airrogance: jinglebellsproutz: airrogance: how much cum do you think you would need to be able to take a 15 minute shower with? showerheads flow about 2.5 gallons per minute so a 15 minute shower is 37.5 gallons average amount of semen per ejaculation is .5 of a teaspoon and 48 teaspoons in a cup. so…

repress: Do you ever want to talk to someone but 1) You feel like you’re bothering them or coming off clingy2) You don’t have anything to say, you just want to talk to them3) You don’t know how to hold a conversation to save your life 

condom: patarnon: I just found a hickey on my chest from last night 👀 Omg I didn’t know you could give yourself hickeys?

sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants

guy-with-an-iphone: I want to be able to get emojis on my license plate